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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25209994">Lockhart: Life &amp; Lies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rimenorreason/pseuds/rimenorreason'>rimenorreason</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Missing Scenes, Mixed Media, POV First Person, POV Multiple, POV Outsider, POV Third Person, Post-Canon, Unconventional Format</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:07:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,058</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25209994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rimenorreason/pseuds/rimenorreason</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lockhart was certainly a character, and as time went by the Wizarding World grew to agree with that sentiment.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Unconventional Fanwork Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lockhart: Life &amp; Lies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/fencesit/gifts">fencesit</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi, fencesit!</p>
<p>Hope you enjoy :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It was an unseasonably warm day in the Northern Highlands. Birds were chirping, people were gallivanting, and the streets were alight with joy. The village was exultant, rejoicing in the months-early pleasant weather. In contrast to the liveliness of the town, on the top of a hill, separated from the rest of the town by a steep slope, was a dour, derelict house, large and grand in scope but unmaintained, and very obviously at that. The townsfolk swore that they had never seen a single soul enter or exit, but on certain nights, one could hear giggles emanating from the house on the hillside, sounding just as loud no matter how far away one was.</p>
  <p>How can that be, you may ask? Well, that’s what I was here to find out. I, the three-time winner of Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award, two-time winner of Playwitch’s Sexiest Wizard Alive, and Hogwarts Gazette’s first ever winner of the Best Hair Commemoration, was ready. I swept back my luscious locks, stepped forward, and knocked on the door.</p>
  <p>No one responded, so I took out my Ajarifacitor (buy it from the official Gilderoy’s Glistening Gadgets mail-order shop for the low, low price of 6 galleons, 11 sickles, and 9 knuts) and entered the mysterious manse. It was dank, dusty, and drafty and devoid of any and all denizens. But then I noticed a painting—hidden away in a corner—of a simply sublime landscape. I recalled my dear friend Blanche Hermé Laflèche Antaya’s story of her castle in Provence-Alpes-Côte d’Azur. She’d tried to explore it in the past but was stymied at first by the presence of secret passages masquerading as mere art. Well, I thought, it certainly didn’t hurt to give it a try—and lo and behold, it truly was a hidden entryway. For more information on her awe-inspiring feats go to page 332 of this book.</p>
  <p>There I saw it. Gleaming, glittering and glimmering, up ahead was effulgent, incandescent splendor shining like my pearly whites after I apply Lockhart’s Loveliest Official Tooth Cleanser. And then. Paradise. Gorgeous gals, clear pools, lush landscaping—what else would a man like me need? They were the Nimue Nymphs, and they were <em> ravishing </em>. From their silky strands of hair, to their long, nimble legs to their other assets, they were divine in the literal and metaphorical senses.</p>
  <p>We spent some time together. The days blended together and even now, I don’t recall what we did, where we did it, or for how long we did it. All I remember is that it was one of the best times of my life, something I am sure to never forget for as long as I live.</p>
</blockquote><p>[<em>Magical Me</em> – Gilderoy Lockhart, 1992] [Pages 76-77]</p>
<p> </p>
<p>---</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And that was an excerpt from Lockhart’s autobiography, <em> Magical Me </em> . You’d think there’s no inconsistencies here, and that’s what most think at first glance. Not quite, reader; in fact, there’s two. He claims this takes place in 1981, yet in <em> Voyages with Vampires, </em> he specifically says that he was only introduced to the Marquesse Laflèche Antaya in the spring of 1988. Either our dear Lockhart happened upon an illegal time turner, as legal time turners would only permit traveling back five hours at most or, as expected, the truth had been murked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unlike in many prior examples in this chapter, we did not search for the truth—instead the truth came to us. We don’t know what happened or how she learnt of this, but here we are with a direct quote from the Marquesse herself.</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I have never met this Gilderoy Lockhart [insult] in my life. I am absolutely disgusted by the mere thought that my pristine name should be sullied by such a reprehensible lout. For shame, comporting himself in such a heinous manner. He mars the name of good authors and heroes everywhere. Moreover, I must question—how did he come to know so much about me and mine? At the very least, I believe it’d be wrong of me to not commend the man he once was for his determination and resourcefulness.</p>
</blockquote><p>This comment brings us to our second discrepancy. Lockhart certainly managed to acquaint himself with an interesting group, as although he has now been disavowed by many of his former friends, they never fail to compliment him for his positive traits—few as they are, in our humble opinion. Furthermore, they attempt to recuse themselves from any association from him even whilst photographic evidence of their camaraderie can easily be found. Our dear Marquesse, whom we quoted above, has been pictured with Lockhart on her arm multiple times in the <em> Feuille de Sorcellerie </em>. They were a regular fixture in the society section of that paper for nearly 18 months; it’s rather hard to wipe that from people’s memories.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>[<em>Lockhart’s Lies, Logged</em> - Sylviana Moon, Eliezer Tart 1999] [Pages 121-124]</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span class="u">Review of <em>Lockhart’s Lies, Logged</em> </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I opened this book, I wasn’t expecting much. After Gilderoy Lockhart’s fall from grace, I’d say it’s harder to find an amateur detective who <em> hasn’t </em> taken up the hunt for clues to how he did what he did, so Moon’s and Tart’s findings all the more impressive. Instead of doing the legwork, Moon cleverly made use of what information was already publicly available. They also managed to include comments from figures who hadn’t spoken for any previous exposés. I don’t know how they obtained these comments, but as long as there are no lawsuits in the future, this duo has already done better than half of all other authors on the subject.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If this book is even slightly successful, they’ve done better than 75% of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And if the public is shockingly not yet sick of Lockhart breakdowns and  end up buying this piece in droves, I’d say it’s the most popular take on this concept thus far. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the end, though, who knows what this painstakingly probing paperback’s fate will be? We are certainly anticipating these authors’ success. They have a certain flair, let’s say, that the dry treatises of the others were lacking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I give this book a 3.5/5. It has style, substance, and originality, but the originality only appears in the research. We at <em> Mage’s Monthly </em> certainly appreciate that, but whether the public will as well remains up in the air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>[Edwin Boombroth, June 17th 1999]</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Something I ended up omitting from the final version as it ended up being a bit off topic:</p>
<p>(It is Pottermore canon though, I think)</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>As the sun rises, a new day begins. As the sun sets, another day begins in another part of the world. And so, we consider Lockhart’s rise and fall the simple passage of the sun. He rose, as the sun rises. As he fell, so did his light, his star — and yet, it was an unhurried progression, one where people gradually stepped forth, noticing discrepancies, speaking up about how this man affected them personally.  He is best known for his series of memoirs, or as we should likely refer to them now, fiction based on true stories; but despite this, his highest grossing works were his handy guides, containing hundreds of practical and nifty charms and spells for the enterprising wizard or witch. </p>
  <p>Our question is, why did he seek fame above all else even after he had enough of a following that he and three generations more could have subsisted solely on the royalties from his works? Why did he pursue needless glory, and in the process disenfranchise all the true heroes, solely based on appearance? And most importantly, what does it say about the British public that his rationale for doing so was proven to be valid? 87% of participants in a recent survey said that, if given a choice they’d prefer reading about Lockhart as opposed to the true vanquishers of the dark creatures.</p>
  <p>And this is in spite of the numerous sexual assault allegations that have been proven over the last half-decade. Esteemed citizens, it is time to rise up, and to fight for what’s right, to shut down those who coast through life on blood status and on physical appearance. Let our Wizarding World become a meritocracy like those across the pond. </p>
  <p>It is time for a change. Support Hermione Granger for Minister of Magic 2020, and usher in a new era!</p>
  <p>Rise! Vote! Prosper!</p>
</blockquote>Other notes:<p>All authors, bar Lockhart, are OCs. Feuille de Sorcellerie is a French publication, with a focus on high society. Mage's Monthly is an English magazine, considered more reputable internationally than the counterparts spoken about in book canon. Both the above are not actually canon.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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